The Book

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Taking from Sunday, February 10, 2013 – The Irony of the Breath – “By the time we have transferred to the ICU ward, Tim’s condition has drastically worsened. It is very early on Sunday, February 10, and I am running on fumes and adrenaline. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since breakfast on Saturday. We are beyond fatigue and I suggest Tim try to sleep some more, despite the state of consciousness and unconsciousness he is enduring. He refuses. His eyes scream panic and horror as he is beginning to come to the reality of the seriousness of his condition. When I question him, he musters weakly that he is afraid of falling asleep.

I realize that his spidey-senses are in high gear, as are mine, despite the boxing match I am having with my intuition! I need it more than ever, yet I am too preoccupied with my rational mind to allow my intuition to take the lead. We both know that something is terribly wrong, and we have no definite answers.

…. This is by far the most challenging day of my life. Too many thoughts are coming through my mind; my intuition appears to be shutting down; or is it blocked? I can’t seem to be able to connect with confidence to my Voodoo Shit anymore. Perhaps, this is a normal defence system that my intuition is undergoing. Our kids are scared, my husband is on life support, and I am alone with my thoughts. I am eagerly trying to concentrate on the tips and tools I give my clients. The only advice I have for myself is to breathe.

How ironic is that? My husband cannot breathe on his own and I am telling myself to make an effort and take a deep, cleansing breath. This will bring me peace, this will quiet my mind chatter, my negative self-talk will diminish and it will help me stabilize my disposition. I remain faithful to what few gut instincts are presently working for me.”

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